“Whoaaaaaaa!” At the last moment, she leaned to the side, holding on for dear life.
She’d been riding this ship for the past 15 hours and her legs were getting tired…But she NEEDED to hold on to the
magic potion that would return her to her normal self. Now she needed to find a safe place to
hide the potion from Lord Stickywic, who needs the potion to cure his own ailment
of sticky warts. Everything he touched stuck to him like glue, which was very frustrating because he worked at
Wal-Mart. And Wal-Mart sells everything.
The townsmen always thought it a little weird that a Lord worked at Wal-Mart. But Wal-Mart hires everyone, so they got used to it.
After all it beat when he worked at the currency exchange and they were never getting the right amount of money.
Maude began to clamber down to the raft she’d prepared. “Stickywic will never think to look in New Zealand,” she thought.
“In New Zealand I will hike the highest mountains to find the perfect place to hide from him & complete my own transformation.”
But what was Maude transforming into?
Slowly she realized her feet had started to develop a webbed appearance.
If only she’d had webbed feet *before* rafting to New Zealand. Would’ve made the trip easier. The hiking, not so much.
She expected more of a spiritual transformation. This physiological change was making Maude nervous.
She pouted her lips as she thought this, inadvertently making that “duck face” so many girls make in pics on social network sites.
Maude began to notice her legs coming close together, and hair getting longer. Was she turning into a mermaid?
Maude rushed to dive off the peak of the mountain into the water below. Perhaps she
could avoid turning the catfish that was her destiny from birth.
She dove. As she fell through the air, she noticed Sir Mortimer Reginald IX in his combustible airship headed toward her.
Sir Mortimer was a part of a crew of combustible airship pilots who routinely searched for divers throughout New Zealand.
Tales of Maudes turning into catfish had circulated amongst the pilots for centuries, becoming long-lost lore of drinking ballads.
“A Maude into a Catfish, a Maude into a Catfish, a Maude into a Catfish,” they’d sing cheerily, glugging from their steins.
Never did Mortimer imagine that he’d be the one chosen to catch the mythical Maudfish.
And now here he was, almost face to face with the Maudfish. He pulled the throttle, knowing this was an opportunity of a lifetime.
An opportunity that was coming to a screeching halt because he forgot to gas up before leaving.
His combustible airship began sputtering. “Uh oh,” Sir Mortimer lamented.
He was going down.
Maudfish had other plans though. Seeing Mortimer’s boat going down
and where was Lord Stickywic? The potion is almost done for & he gets called in for the closing shift at WalMart!
It was too late. Mortimer’s plane crashed before Maudfish could get to him. And Lord Stickywic never got the potion.
Ahhh, the mythical Maudfish. Never before seen. Until finally, Mortimer gets his eyes on it. But of course, the old “he’s out of gas” storyline had to rear its ugly head. And Mortimer crashed. Poor guy. I bet the rest of the airship pilots are singing ballads in his honor.
Thanks @brianpinkley for supplying the photo. It’s pretty hilarious. And has nothing to do with the story.
And thanks to @nella22 @brianpinkley @lesliestaysup @melmo3 @swanieson @officerpupp @jsetlak and @Pawela04 for writing again with me. Special shout-out to @mscileppi, a new writer! Yeah, Maria! Hope you enjoyed it. So glad you jumped in.